The Struggle Is Real: Loneliness As A New Mum

Loneliness as a new mum

It’s Friday, guys! Anyone else shattered and running on the fumes of tea and cake or is it just me?

Today has been a lovely day with lovely people filled with friendship and kindness. First of all, my boy and I went to Costa for a sneaky hot chocolate and the kindness we received there was amazing. A friendly woman in the queue oohed and aahed over my boy and a customer even helped to bring my tray across to my table. People love talking to you when you have a child, which can really help you feel less alone.

Secondly, we met a mummy friend and her super cute baby boy at a small soft play area called The Toy Library We had such a nice time chatting away whilst the boys played. The power of friendship is magical!

Then, we went to our Postnatal Project Powerlifting session at Darkside Gym and did even more chatting with mummy friends.

Also, I’ve received overwhelming kindness for my blog and my podcast (Reading with Miss T on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts), which makes my heart soar and me beam from head to toe.

Furthermore, my husband came home and could see I was struggling with fatigue and pain from my busy day and from the heat so he kindly told me to go upstairs and relax for a bit. So that’s what I did. Laid on my bed with my purple hair dye on, listening to the funniest podcast around Sh**ged, Married, Annoyed by Chris and Rosie Ramsey and wrote this blog post.

Whilst doing so, I started to contemplate that at school I never really had many friends at all and really struggled to make any. Anxiety made it very difficult, as did a stutter I had and still have now and my Rosacea used to flare up badly, which made me incredibly self conscious. Secondary school was a lonely place for me and left me wondering what was wrong with me?

However, when I got to university, I met my wonderful husband and his friendship group welcomed me with open arms! We are all still in touch 12 years on and in fact are meeting tomorrow! When I became a Primary School Teacher, again I made some great friends.

Luckily, I’ve made the most friends since becoming a mummy. The loneliness of becoming a new mum can sometimes be incredibly difficult to manage, as this study shows, and some people really find it difficult to leave the house as a new mum because it is their safety net. As a result of my anxiety though, I need to get out of the house to cope better and have managed to combat my loneliness through Children’s Centres, Facebook groups and pages, Music classes, Dance classes and Breastfeeding groups. Every mummy is in the same boat where we want to feel less alone and make friends in this difficult, yet highly rewarding job. If you see a mum out and about, share a smile with her, say hello and know that you’ve just brightened someone’s day.

Mummy the Fibro Warrior Top Tip:

1. Try to forge friendships with others to make you feel less alone on your journey. Facebook is a useful tool for finding mummy groups or parenting groups or Fibro support groups or groups around your hobbies and interests. You could even strike up a conversation with another mum at soft play and if it goes well ask if they’d like to meet up!

If there is one takeaway I would like you all to remember today is that the phrase ‘if you can be anything, be kind’ has never been more paramount especially in this post Covid world. Be kind to all. Speak to other mums and dads and carers and forge friendship through kindness. Friendship and kindness are a perfect pair for making us into Mummy the Fibro Warrior. I need you to know you are doing the best you can, your child/children love you just as you are and you are Mummy the Fibro Warrior.

Until next time,

x

p.s. there is now a new function on every page and post on my website where you have the option to purchase this fibro mummy a coffee. There is absolutely no obligation for you to do so as I love making this content for you and it is really helping me too but the option is there if you would like!